Preparations to Adopt!

Eeeekkkk! Guys! We’re getting ready to adopt again! YAY!!! We are so thrilled and cannot wait to add another little on to our family! BUT… as we already know, adoption takes time! Lots of time…and energy…and money…and tears… but it’s SOOO worth it! We’re hoping to be prepared to start the process again at the end of 2017!

The last time we prepared to adopt we did some fundraising and were generously blessed by friends and family members who gave up their time, energy, money, and tears. We couldn’t be more blessed with the great people we have in our lives who have done SO much to bring our family together. We often try to express our gratitude, but it always falls short.

As we prepare to adopt this time we feel fortunate to be in a better place financially. We are working hard to save on expenses and stretch our dollars and feel like we’re inching along. We don’t want to ask anyone to help with fundraisers or donations, so we’ve flipped through idea after idea to find a way to enlist help without asking for money. Here’s what we found… offers an affiliate incentive to those who are willing to refer people to products listed on their website. The cost is no more for the people buying the items, and it doesn’t come out of the pocket of those who list on Amazon. Instead, Amazon takes a portion of their income from each referred sale and gives it to the affiliate that referred them to purchase from there.

We love this idea because regardless of what you’re buying if you’re consistently ordering from Amazon, all you have to do is use a link! Don’t want to memorize the link each time? You can bookmark it on your browser, and it’ll take you there each time! There are some kinks in the plan, though. Ordering from the Amazon app doesn’t allow you to use a link to the homepage, which means you’d have to order exclusively on your desktop. There is a workaround option for that, but it might not be worth it for everyone. So… If you want to help out by buying items from Amazon but will likely use the app more than a web browser, let me know, and I can explain the details!

For everyone else, you literally just have to copy the link below, paste it into your browser, add it to your bookmarks bar and use it each time you go to! Each month we’ll report any income here to help everyone see how helpful they are! Again, we have been SOO blessed by so many and don’t want to ask anyone for donations! We’d rather invite those who use Amazon to use our affiliate link so we can get closer to adopting! We are so grateful for everyone and cannot wait to add a little one (and hopefully their birth parents, too!) to our family!


If you have any questions about how to use the affiliate link, let me know! Here’s the link for you to use!

If you don’t have Amazon Prime (free two-day shipping on EVERYTHING, plus a million other fantastic offers all the time!), but want to try it out, click on the ad at the bottom of this post so we get credit for referring you and then use the affiliate link to help us adopt!

If you want to know more about the costs of adoption let us know! We love to talk about adoption and help people understand all the good stuff that comes along with all the hard things!


and so i kept living…

When I was 16, I attempted suicide. For months I thought about dying, it was almost a day-dream. I longed for it, and I felt confident I was ready. I planned the day and time almost a week and a half before I attempted suicide. The plan was set so I could know if I was going to change my mind. It was Sunday morning, and I hadn’t. I went to my parent’s room to the drawer I’d visited many times before–where they kept the handgun, but it wasn’t there. I had never been angrier, and so I kept living.

Things were kind of a blur from there, and they came back into focus when I was at the hospital. I spent hours being interviewed by who I assume were doctors. I still felt so angry that there wasn’t a gun in that drawer. I was finally told that I was being admitted to the behavioral unit, and I was handcuffed to a wheelchair. I was pushed by a tall man to a door that opened into a long hallway. We entered the hallway, and as the heavy doors locked shut, I thought about how I could die. The hallway was long, and there were no windows. My mind raced through every way I could act out to get this man to kill me. There would be no witnesses because it was only us in a long hallway…what could I do or say that would get him to do what I wanted to so badly? Nothing. The exit door swung open, and we were at the entrance of the behavioral unit, and so I kept living.

At that point, living was not my choice, but one day it was. After I had returned home from my mission, I thought about what I wanted and what I needed. I had spent the more part of five years wanting to die, but I was still here. I realized that I believed in very little. I didn’t believe in people, and I didn’t believe I’d have support in my future. I realized that hadn’t changed since my first suicide attempt, and then I thought that if I wanted to keep living, I NEEDED to believe in something. I believed in God; I was sure of that, so I asked God what I needed. I found I needed to believe that my future could be happy and that support would surround me, and that’s when things changed. I kept living because I knew what I needed. It was not what I wanted, but for now, it would do.


Image result for “We are all a people in need. We are not perfect. We are not machines. We make mistakes. We need grace. We need compassion. We need help at times. We need other people. And that’s okay.”


Today I can recognize that I always had support and that I always had a bright future, and I’m glad I kept living. There were times that I felt others were so selfish for making me live–If they knew what I was feeling, they would not force me to stay. There were times when I felt lonely, and others moments I was angry. I even had times that I felt happy, but it never really stayed around very long. But, today I can say that I have others around me, and they support me. When I find myself crying, I have people to help me. I find God’s love for me in the hard-working hands of my husband. I find happiness in the squeals of my daughter, and I find joy in living.




Don’t get me wrong; my life is not perfect. My life is not always happy, and I’m not always confident in myself or others. I have more sad days than I’d like to admit, and way more than I’d like to have…but I’m not angry I’m alive anymore. I’ve found that “and so I kept living” has turned into “I’m glad I am living.” And more than anything, I want that for everyone else. I know that it gets hard and that the thought of living one more minute with all of that pain feels too exhausting. I can never fully know your story or your struggle, and I’m sorry for that. One thing I know for sure, though; I will never know enough of your story if you don’t live. No one else can tell your story the way you can, and I want to hear it. The world wants to hear it, and so I’m hoping you’ll stay. I am hoping you’ll find that what you need is to believe that you have a happy future. I’m hoping you’ll stay long enough to find your people. I am hoping you’ll find joy in living, and I’m hoping you’ll tell me how. The world needs your life as inspiration, not your death.

How I Survived a Poop Catastrophe on International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day is such an important day! I am all for feminism and equal rights, and I even started a blog post about the all the women who inspire me this morning. Women are a huge part of how the world works. We are so essential to our societies, and I want to celebrate that. Which is why I thought sharing my feminism through a blog post would be beautiful…

…and then I had a poop catastrophe. I mean that; it was bad.


I’ll spare you the picture of what was on the shirt and rug once I picked her up… Her diaper was virtually my floor. I promise it was not pretty. But, it did also put a lot into perspective, especially for International Women’s Day. I’ll get to that, though. For now, Here’s a list. Because EVERY great blog post has a list right? 😉

1. Tell Nate to come home from work.

2. Lock Remi outside. (Because who knows if he’ll roll in it, or step on it and jump on my couches? I’m not taking that risk.)

3. Pick Kyrie up and made a trail of poop throughout the living room and kitchen (Fortunately, the gap between them isn’t very far!)

4. Obtain and open trash bag

5. Insert baby waist deep (Also, waste deep.)

6. Go upstairs and realize you forgot the wipes. BLARGH. You can’t leave a poop covered baby unattended while being halfway inside a garbage bag. (That’s a parenting FYI. For those of you who don’t know… I do know some things about being a mom 😉

7. Text Nate to warn him of the current poop slip hazard and ask him to bring wipes. All the wipes. (I don’t want my bathtub covered in poop. Even if it washes out, I’ll always remember it was there.)

8. Remove anything from the bathtub that will eventually end up covered in feces and run water.

9. Wait while making sure Kyrie doesn’t chew on her poop covered fingers. Fortunately, Nate works about 10 minutes away, if he hits every red light.

10. Sigh in relief when Nate gets home to find us both covered in poop sitting in a trash bag on the bathroom floor.

11. Wash Kyrie and let her splash water onto me hoping it might wash away poop from my clothes.

12. Come downstairs to discover Nate cleaned up the floor and may have even salvaged the shirt (that I LOVE!!!!) that she still hasn’t worn but managed to poop on.

13. Survival.

So.. International Women’s Day? Here it is. For me, I am no woman without Nate.  My husband saves me from poopy days, and he does it for me all the time. Do I generally cause those days? Yes. And he still manages to save me from them. So, Nate, thank you for being my hero (or should I say heroine?) on International Women’s day. I’m not me without you.

Now, before everyone starts losing their minds, my poop catastrophe is NOTHING compared to the tragedies plaguing women across the globe. A poopy diaper on a rug on top of a floor that is not dirt, that we have because we both my husband and I can go to school. And we can do it safely (I literally do my schooling in the safety of my home). And while we likely would not be paid the same rate for doing the same job, I can get a job. I can vote to elect people who will help shape our society, so that doesn’t happen. I can choose to stay home with my daughter, and am not expected to. I am so blessed.

Today, my poop catastrophe taught me that I’m blessed to be a woman, and I’m blessed to be a wife who has a great husband to support her. I hope we’ll all remember (and remember for longer than just today), women are vital to this life. They should be paid the same, given the same opportunities and celebrated for who they are. Strong. Intelligent.  Full of Grit. Courageous. Loving. Kind. Hard Working. And all the other adjectives you can use to describe any other human being… Both men and women. Women are incredible creatures who help to make life and contribute to sustaining it. Women are capable of and should be educated. They NEED to be allowed to show the world what they are made of. So, today, please say thank you to the women in your life. Treat them like the powerful, strong women they are. Take the Pledge for Parity. Remember that women need help from both males and females. We need more people to think like Emma Watson, so learn more about He for She.

Let’s start taking action to change the oppression of women.

And, women, please also remember your worth. And that each worthy person can and SHOULD ask for help. It just might save you from your poop catastrophe.